Recently I noticed that my contact details with Optus were incorrect and after trying to unsuccessfully resolving this myself through their self service portal, I contacted customer service. What follows is a copy of my conversation with customer service for your amusement.

I started with their chat bot who just directed me to self service. That was throwing a (non-descriptive) error, hence my need to chat.

I somehow managed to connect with another Jared. “This will be easy” I thought, “given he should be familiar with the correct spelling of his own name”.

So here there was a little bit of genuine confusion and miscommunication. This was quickly resolved.

And this is where the silliness begins. What’s the purpose of having a distinct login email address and a contact email address if your contact email address must be unique?

I figure if they would like a unique email address, I’ll give them one.

Now I understand, any expression of dissatisfaction is a complaint, and any complaint should be managed by a specialist team. But this was just a case of the consultant bailing from the conversation.

The least you can do is pass me on to the right team!

Kathryn was quite pleasant (and I made sure to leave her positive feedback when I was asked). She was quite verbose though.

I see. So my wife and I can’t have our bills sent to the same email address. Given that I handle all the bills for our household, that seems silly. Better let them know how I feel.

Take 2?

It worked! Although I did sense the lack of trust that it will actually be received on my end. Funny that I can set up an entirely new mailbox faster than it takes them to update my email address!

Let’s also not forget that they had updated my contact phone number to be wrong too. Who has been messing on my account? Funny given their security settings are so strong.

She asks as it my contact phone number has ever been a 1300 number. I wonder if they ever called themselves asking for me?

And the end result is one of the best emails that I have ever received …

Thanks Kathryn. You’re a champion.

What a way to end 2020.